The Fish & Grits Diary of a former Bitter Black Man

I look into the mirror and at times I do not know who I am Sometimes I am the voice of the voiceless spreading the gospel of positivity and ways to improve our lives other times I am a raging bull in a house full of glass tearing down the walls that I built I hide the tears of my fears trying to be the leader I was bred to be I am scared, scared of becoming a father, a husband and the head of unknown society of speakers, leaders and individuals taking it to the next level I am afraid of the same failures I tell others not to be terrified of So who am I? Am I the elephant in the room who will sound off vocal pipe bombs? Am I the lion that roars obscene gestures as a defense mechanism to the ppl who love me? Am I the wolf in sheep's clothing hiding from the flock & only appearing when its convenient Who Am I?!?!?!? Someday's I know other days I am lost How can I lead with a limited identity? Who will follow a man with many talents and more mi...

What a difference a year makes! I am a few weeks away from having my son. The initial reaction was "this is going to be my first child" but in reality I have adopted a highly intelligent eight year old daughter who is the center of my universe. She is so amazing and I have never felt love like this before not even from my nieces, nephews or God children who I love with all my heart. Just to see that my teachings, methods and words are effecting her on a daily basis is quite exciting and a little overwhelming at times but overall I feel great about it! I have a woman in my life who is a prayer warrior, a queen and just deeply in love with me for who I am and not what "I can potentially be". My family is all I think about when I make decisions and when I chose certain paths to now follow. My son, daughter and soon to be wife are the reason I wake up and work the overnight shift and then get home to complete administrative work for my publishing company, push my new ...

Its official February 11th I will release my 2nd book "Sex, Love, And Pain: Methods II the MaDDness" below is a preview of the Table of Content Intro Sex Power of the D.I.C.K (Deceptive Intuition Causing Khaos) The Art of the Break-up Competitive Edge Poem #1 To Kill or Not to Kill by Mocha Dee Love Work Hard And Love Harder Man Up or STFU Sneakers in The Kitchen Franchise Player Poem #2 Women R Stupid And Men R the Reason by D. Ruff Pain Rose’s Story Victory Has Defeated You Dear Fear F*** Fear Pain Is Temporary Confession of a Mistress by Sha Rae Stop Hating On Yourself (Conclusion)

Just the two of us, we can make it if we try Just the two of us, (Just the two of us) Just the two of us, building castles in the sky Just the two of us, you and I I have never been so scared in my whole life with what is coming in less than 2 months as of today's date November 11, 2013. I have a son on the way....how does a man respond to this? How do I teach another male how to be man when I didn't have one to teach me? Will I do a good job? How do I handle the pressure? These questions float through my head 24/7 non stop. I just remember God saying "Just trust me!" and that is what I am doing. Most know the past few years I have been on a roller coaster dealing with relationships and all of that doesn't matter anymore as of last year December when I linked with someone who was just a friend and it went from hey how you doing to lets link for dinner to omgoodness we have tons in common to hey we're falling for each other to now "hey daddy". ...

When I was first asked to review “City of Guardians” I looked at myself and said “me”? I was honored to read this book and honored to be in contact with Bee Kirk. This is how you are suppose to start a series!  This book came highly recommended to me from a mutual friend of ours and he suggested we start cross promoting but I did not know I was going to be able to read a instant classic. I was glued from the beginning. Ms. Kirk writes with honesty and passion and with a purpose of wanting to explore through realms like no other. This book is an excellent example of classic good vs. evil, with some interesting twists and turns. How much of our lives are free will? The book took me on a raw emotional roller coaster and face to face with hard situations added to the book and illustrated perfectly why the guardians are needed. I recommend this book and would absolutely give it as a gift to any of my friends. This book really makes you think & makes you think even more about...

Totally different place in life right now.....God is so good....I have learned to look forward and not in the past.....I have a lovely wife to be who prays with me, believes in me and supports me 110%....a great little girl who I claim as mines who gives me energy and life...and a son on the way who made me just love life even more and he is 4 months away....yeah its time for a blog post lol What we don't do as people is fully move on with our lives....we love to dwell and stay mad, sad, depressed, "over it" or just stagnant. We don't move forward for whatever reason even though the universe and the rest of the world is doing so. This is why I decided to never write about the past again when it comes to relationships or anything that isn't helping my growth as a man, writer and entrepreneur . I have a woman who L-O-V-E LOVE! I mean in every way we connect better than Voltron machines and our souls intertwine during prayer and meditation. A true blessing....

TIME TO MAN THE F*** UP!!!!!! End the "college/lets have fun/i'm gonna do me etc' shit! WOMEN NEED MEN! Not us posing as men. Its not what they can do for us; its what we can do for them and then you'll notice change. NO MANIPULATION! Just transform from BOY TO MAN! Its not just about ourselves. WHAT CAN YOU DO to make her happy? LEAD BY EXAMPLE AND if she doesn't follow suit then maybe she isn't the one for you! Its not what your mate can do for you; its what can you do for your mate; SET A FIX! See what you need and be the person you want them to be but do not expect them not to be them TRICKY I KNOW! Fellas I get it sometimes you feel overwhelmed to the point of breaking down. Sometimes you feel like giving up. And when you do, remember, it's okay to cry and to open up to others and when that's done, look in the mirror and smile. There's a reason you held on for so long with whatever struggles you went through whether if that was dea...

Another fear we have among my generation is having a legit family. I have learned that things have changed drastically. Growing up watching television, reading books and hearing stories from the generation before me that wanting to raise children, become married and build a legacy was the thing to do. Not so in 2013, I have been to more baby showers than weddings and have witnessed more divorces, breakups and broken families than sincere happiness. Why?? No seriously help me understand why. In my opinion I believe not everyone will have children or be married. Nothing wrong with that, that is how the universe works at times. But I do have a problem with the people who block it from happening and those who destroy homes by being deadbeats, abusive, & just plain evil (yes evil). It is a choice and a honor to have a family, become married and building a great foundation. Some take it seriously while others could care less about it because they are focused just on themselves which a...

NEW TITLE, NEW MOVIE & MANAGEMENT WANTED I released the book "Women R Stupid & Men R the Reason" February 23, 2011 with mediocre success. Mediocre success not because of the content or publishing, but because Aziza Publishing & myself set the bar and standards of our success very high along with the lack of promotional professional tactics of myself, the title being a turn off by 60% of the female readers (according to a survey done during the winter of 2012) & lack of a experience booking agent/manager. During a recent conversation with Aziza Publishing and myself I did some hardcore thinking I have decided to change the current plans with the follow-up book previously titled "The Methods II My Madness: Women R Still Stupid & Men R the Reason". The content will remain the same but the title needed changing for more of a universal appeal. President of Aziza Publishing Rochelle Levy stated " I don't think it should be a...

Contrary to a new cultural campaign by Hallmark, Facebook, Twitter and others, Father’s Day is not a holiday for single moms! Here is a GREAT Father’s Day present: a Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. Inside is the definition for father: A man who has begotten a  child . A male PARENT. A father-in-law, stepfather, or adoptive father. I would give the dictionary to deadbeat dads, but I’d also give it to those being duped into honoring single mom’s on Father’s Day. I once seen a “Happy Father’s Day, Mom” in the Mahogany section I looked through the general Father’s Day card section, but couldn’t find the “mom” category. Why just the Mahogany section? Nationally, 1 out of 3 American children live in homes where fathers are absent, according to the Center for Disease Control. The black rate is 2 out of 3. The message to the black community is that single motherhood is acceptable, so celebrate with a Mahogany card??????? I have not said this in a while but SEEFUCY...

School is out and it's a sort of a buzz  a back then I didn't really know what it was  but now I see what have of this  the way that people respond to summer madness  the weather is hot and girls are dressing less  and checking out the fellas to tell 'em who's best  riding around in your jeep or your benzos  or in your Nissan sitting on lorenzos  back in Philly we be out in the park  a place called the plateau is where everybody goes  guys out hunting and girls doing likewise  honking at the honey in front of you with the light eyes  she turn around to see what you beeping at  it's like the summers a natural afrodesiac  and with a pen and pad I compose this rhyme  to hit you and get you equipped for the summer time  SUMMERTIME- DJ JAZZY JEEF & THE FRESH PRINCE  Its that time of the year again!!!!!!!!! Summertime baby its getting hotter, schools almost out & cookouts g...

In 2011 it was stated that “For centuries men and women have been at each others throats about who is right and who is wrong. We end up blaming each other for our struggles and failures because we as people just don’t get “it”. How many times are we going to be blind about our own inconsistencies, insecurities and misfortunes in life despite having 20/20 vision?” Its now 2013 and we are still dealing with the same issues. The older we get the worst the battle of the sexes continue. In this book I will further elaborate the terrible problems we face in 2013 from infidelity, lying, dealing with finances, & pain. You will learn how pain is temporary, the art of breaking up with someone, the rules for working hard & loving harder and how not to accept false advertisement or give it away within your relationship. I am a man who doesn't have all the answers but who makes perfect sense. With this book my goal is to not only provide my opinion but provide facts al...

November of last year I started working on a "progression blog" showing my improvement in eating habits, working out and changing my lifestyle. Without saying to much I definitely went through a storm between then and March. I went through a rough break-up, was laid off from a great company because of "going into a different direction" I put back on at least 10-11 lbs and was losing myself. I was angry & upset at my reflection, my thoughts on life, other people and of course myself in general. I felt like I was losing again! I couldn't get a grip on life and I was falling. Stressed out over failing again then something happened once again. God stepped in and said "Remember what happened when you believed in me and stopped worrying about your problems?" It definitely snapped me back into place. I let go and let God take the wheel. I let a friendship naturally turn into a relationship (We weren't expecting it nor was it planned) and 4 mo...