Another fear we have among my generation is having a legit family. I have learned that things have changed drastically. Growing up watching television, reading books and hearing stories from the generation before me that wanting to raise children, become married and build a legacy was the thing to do. Not so in 2013, I have been to more baby showers than weddings and have witnessed more divorces, breakups and broken families than sincere happiness. Why?? No seriously help me understand why.
In my opinion I believe not everyone will have children or be married. Nothing wrong with that, that is how the universe works at times. But I do have a problem with the people who block it from happening and those who destroy homes by being deadbeats, abusive, & just plain evil (yes evil). It is a choice and a honor to have a family, become married and building a great foundation. Some take it seriously while others could care less about it because they are focused just on themselves which at times can be very rewarding; but remember we were blessed to walk this earth to procreate and to extend evolution. Unfortunately they’re some who just can’t produce children or feel they don’t have a lot to offer to bring in a spouse. How do we categorize those individuals? For those who can not produce children there's adoption, you can step up and help family and friends with their children, you can also volunteer in programs like “The Big Brothers & Sisters of America” program or at your local community center. The goal is help lead the future generation in a positive direction.
For those who feel like they have nothing to offer to a spouse just shut up or do something about it. That may be harsh to some and funny to others but the reality is nothing just comes to those who do nothing about it. You are special, unique and have tons to offer to people. What may work for others may not work for you (huge cliche) but its true.
- Women: When will you AS PEOPLE NOT INDIVIDUALS learn that just because all men stand up & pee doesn't mean they are all the same, when will you learn that just because you lay on your back and open up your legs and allow someone to ejaculate in your vagina that it will keep him around, for those few minutes yes but after that maybe maybe not. When will you learn that if you treat your vagina like a bad wall street broker it might plummet I can see it now "Pussy dropped again on the Dow Jones 34 points" STOP GIVING IT AWAY SO MUCH & TOO EASILY make that man work! When will you know that its cooler to teach other young girls that fashion, clubbing, chasing men, chasing money & being a "gimme girl" IS NOT THE WAY TO GO! When will you realize that just because a man is being nice to you doesn't make him plastic (fake) pick your spots and be careful. A man seeks his wife and not the other way around. Give these men something to seek and not just what we see on television, in the movies or music videos. A real man knows what you are worth and will not go blind to a real woman. Stop being difficult all the time and actually listen to what men want; some women believe they know what men want and how they think. I laugh at this notion because you have not met every man. Yes its true most of us are simple but it is also true we can be a project waiting to be molded. Be patient, listen and make sure you are doing what is best for you while dating and going through prospects that will make a great husband.
- Fellas: When will we AS PEOPLE NOT INDIVIDUALS learn that just because we have a penis that we don't control who stays in or out in our relationships! We need to learn that saying the words "I'm sorry" become null & void after we use them so many times its like saying good morning or good night the words become useless! No woman wants a sorry man! SORRY! When will we know the difference between hustlin’ & grindin’? Hustlin’ will come back to get you and bite you the one that stinks and not the one that winks. Grindin’ is the result of hard work and going thru the struggle of becoming successful while hustlin’ is going thru shorts cuts and not learning a damn thing. Grindin’ is doing what it takes to learn from the past. I love that so many people in Boston have dreams but EVERYONE isn't going to become a successful rapper or producer or promoter or drug dealer. Stop using New Jack City & mixtapes as a mentor, not saying stop but lets be real some of you just are not that good in certain departments and need to take up a new genre. We have to step up! As a whole; women need security and they need to know that we are not a risk in the future. Granted some of these bone headed women don't know what they want and pretend to want the "perfect man" (NO SUCH THING LADIES) but we still have to be consistent and do our job. Our job are the things we are not suppose to get credit for via awards. Listening to her, talking to her, not repeating our mistakes, not creating excuses, staying consistent with what made her fall for us in the first place & improving ourselves as men! Its quite simple and hard, because no woman knows the real pressure we have especially African American men in the USA. But we can not let that stop us from taking care of business. I don’t know one man who doesn't want to be treated like a king; but as king you must handle the kingdom with pride; that means working your ass off so she has no worries about the finances, your loyalty or integrity.
- EVERYONE: With relationships its all about effort! Its the most important part in a relationship! A relationship without effort is like a car without gas! Useless and disappointing! The relationship won't grow if both parties don't put time into it! Relationships are a two-way commitment! Helping each other out, little by little bit by bit Don't just let your man/woman do all the work! They will eventually get tired because it's clear you don't care enough; then its time to say SEEF**YALATA! Don't make yourself regret & question why you didn't appreciated their effort! For the most part sometimes all you have to do is just show up! Being yourself along with consistency & maximum effort from the beginning to two years into the commitment will go a long way. Who doesn't appreciate a hard working man or woman? You have to remind yourself that this is what you wanted from the very start & remind yourself about what you are willing to do keep that smile on your face. Work hard and play at the same time; you should be having fun with the person who you decided to put in your life. Remember they do not make you happy they are adding to your happiness and if they decide to f*** up you will eventually be happy without them.
"SEX, LOVE & PAIN: THE METHODS II THE MADDNESS" coming very soon! December 2013
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