"The Methods II My Madness: Women R Still Stupid & Men R the Reason" For controversial purposes yesterday I directed my attention first towards the women and now its time for my attention towards men today in this preview.
~Steven
Earlier in the chapter we discuss a list of relationship mistakes that women should stop making. The list was solid but a bit heavy on the progesterone I must admit but I can only write about what I see or have been through with women. At any rate, in the name of making this space of my chapter fair and honest I've compiled a list of stuff us dudes should probably quit doing in the name of healthy love and relationships. We dudes aren't perfect, we should squash a few relationship mistakes ourselves.
11. Not Offering Help: Most women spend the day at the office, made dinner and fed the dog and the children. Is it too much to hope that we as men do the dishes without being asked? When a woman needs or wants help, she may not ask for it. No woman wants to admit she can’t live up to Superwoman expectations. A man who doesn't understand the power of the broom may feel the consequences in the bedroom. He doesn't understand that housework and sex are very related. How? For the average woman, housework pours cold water on foreplay. But seeing her man do housework? That’s foreplay right now in some households. So what’s a well-intentioned man to do? Look up from the TV and see what she is doing. Most likely, she's not relaxing. Is she doing chores? It’s time to pitch in. Second, we need to remove the word “help” from our offers & just do it.
~Steven
Earlier in the chapter we discuss a list of relationship mistakes that women should stop making. The list was solid but a bit heavy on the progesterone I must admit but I can only write about what I see or have been through with women. At any rate, in the name of making this space of my chapter fair and honest I've compiled a list of stuff us dudes should probably quit doing in the name of healthy love and relationships. We dudes aren't perfect, we should squash a few relationship mistakes ourselves.
1. Watching TV, reading, surfing the internet checking up on likes or retweets and/or listening to music during an important conversation: Trust me, being able to recite the highlights (and a detail or two) of what she just said can go a long way. It's going to be tough if you have to ask yourself if she said it, or if you read it on a social network. Simple is better and paying attention may seem small but can go a long way.
2. Showing improper levels of jealousy: Some jealousy is good, natural and a bit flattering. Driving four hours to punch someone in the neck over a picture like over social networks is cause for concern.
3. Trying to look too cool in front of your friends: Yes, yes, bros before hos (am I using that phrase correctly?). But this is your woman not a ho. If you're mean to her in front of your buddies, they will not respect her. I suppose if she tries to chump you in front of your boys, though, your hands are untied.
4.Thinking birth control is not your responsibility! You are a man. Yes it takes two to tango but you have to take responsibility to cover up or risk having a child. What makes it worst is the men who don't take responsibility after birth!
5. Not being the same guy she fell for: Now you’re together. How do you relate to her? Do you take her on emotional journeys and explore your connection sexually? Or is Friday night order-pizza-and-watch-TV skeet skeet skeet night? There’s nothing wrong with getting comfortable in a relationship, but don’t take her for granted either. She fell for the guy who was courting her. So take her on a date once in a while, like when you first met her. Make out with her. Remember how much you were dying to kiss her early on? How long you’d make out with her for? Spend 30-60 seconds per day making out with her. She’s worth one free minute, isn’t she? Just like you wouldn’t like it if she let go of her appearance once she became your girlfriend, she wants you to continue to be the same guy she fell for originally.
- 6. Not making her look good: Chris Rock stated " Women need food, water, and compliments That's right! And an occasional pair of shoes" In general, women are more affected by others’ opinions than men. And a woman’s identity is (in general) more tied to her relationship status than a man’s. So, go the extra mile to make her look good when her friends or family are involved. Swing those compliments not just in private but in public hell she's your woman. Even if she isn't in front of you make sure you let the world know how proud you are. No this isn't opening the door for the next fella to come have confidence dammit if she allows that to happen then she isn't the one for you. Give some unsolicited compliments about your girlfriend. It will make her feel so good (and her friends so jealous) to hear that even when she’s not around, you are thinking of her. It will get back to her, I promise. Lastly dealing with your girlfriend’s friends and family can be a big part of being a great boyfriend. Women constantly judge each other on their sexual and romantic choices. One of the biggest gifts you can give your girl is to spare her the drama. She’ll thank you for it – so it’s a win-win-win!
7. Being Too Nice: When it comes to their relationship some men have a hard time saying no, eagerly trying to please their woman and not standing up to her. This is a double edged sword. If a man loves a woman, he more than anything wants to please her. Yet, if he turns into a push-over, it's the beginning of the end. Will women test a man's determination and will power? You bet! I was once a "yes man" and it got me nowhere! "Hey babe you this you need that etc etc over and over again or yeah we can do that" knowing damn well I was against it. The paradox is some women want you to stand your ground and put some force into the relationship, however, they will challenge you all the way there. If you can't show your strength, that woman will lose respect for you. The best cure for the 'nice game' is to have something to do that is so engaging and exciting that you simply don't have the time to always be around to be pushed around.
8. Not Recognizing a Woman's Need for Balance and Harmony: Men are masters of pain (just watch an action movie!), women are masters of pleasure. Women like to have fun, laugh, talk, cheer and giggle. They also love beauty & harmony. It's in their nature and it helps them recharge their batteries. Men we often shrug our shoulders when a woman insists on having the best room in a hotel, take our time with picking the perfect seat in a restaurant, and expect the best service. Little do we know that it's in their livelihood: It makes them feel good and helps them to relax. Being too serious and thinking about problems is not their idea of having a good time. Not so for men. We love problems, the bigger, the better. A smart man let's his woman have her way in choosing the right ambiance. He knows that when she is happy, he will be happy, too.
9. Talking About Exes: The female brain isn't wired like ours. They will actually shy away from you if you continue to tell them either how wonderful your ex was, how upset you are that she dumped you, how toxic your old relationship was, or how glad you are to “finally be rid of the bitch.” Instead of being a turn-on, all this ex talk instantly screams that you have way too much baggage for their comfort levels. Not to mention the fact that it's boring for them to have a man whine on and on about a relationship that doesn't involve them. Get over it! And if you think you’re still suffering from the dreaded "syndrome ex," swap dating, dinners and girls for the gym instead. And do this until you can, at least, go a whole week without mentioning the name of your ex.
10. Not Listening: Sound familiar? It’s the No. 1 complaint women have about their partners. Men underestimate the power of simply listening, Love says. But it isn’t all his fault. Women get a dopa-mine hit and build bonds through conversation. The average man doesn’t get that same high. “Men don’t understand that women talk to connect,” Rochelle Levy (president of Aziza Publishing) says. “A man thinks she is talking to tell him something.” And his natural tendency is to fix whatever problem the woman in his life is presenting… whether she asked for help or not. The Fix: Three simple words are magic for women, “Tell me more.” And if you really want to sweeten the deal? “I’m interested.”
12. Misunderstanding the ‘Silent Treatment: Fellas we think we're being punished when she gives us the cold shoulder. In reality, the silence means she’s hurt and can’t speak, or doesn't want to say the wrong thing. We also have it wrong when the silence lingers. We sometimes believe the wound has healed, but when she’s not talking at all, the relationship has gone from bad to worse. Silence isn't a good sign, she may be making an exit plan. When a woman is quiet, a man needs to ask what’s wrong. He needs to check on his partner and relationship. The magic words? “What’s on your mind?” The best thing a man can do is reach out with compassion. It’s key to making a woman feel safe enough to express her real emotions.
MUCH MUCH MORE this spring in "The Methods II My Madness: Women R Still Stupid & Men R the Reason"
I go very deep in this subject about those who change after sex, false advertisement, the fake leading the fake, & much more. Discussing problems BOTH MEN & WOMEN HAVE. Give me your feedback please. Tomorrow we will discuss the mistakes men make.
This has been a
Steven A Miami KONcept
3's up & 305 down
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