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These Are The Times 11-20-12

These are the times we all wish for 
The moment when less means so much more 
We don't have to do a thing at all 
We can take our time and talk 
And this is the way things need to be 
No pressure from you and none from me 
Just let the mood set the moment off 
We can make love or not at all 


Dru Hill- These Are the Times






Q of the Moment: Can couples have a healthy relationship without having sex? 

There are many opinions on this, but I'll throw my thoughts  in because I think I've got enough years and experience in to give some insight on this one. 

I've been been having sex since May 16th 1999 

One long-term relationship I have had I was in I thought was the best I had ever been in. Sex was incredible, and we had everything in common. In the end however, when times got a bit rough for us, she bailed, and it tore me apart. After thinking long and hard, I realized that the sex was the only real base of our relationship to begin with, and I vowed that I'd never let that happen again. As a man that shit is hard!

Over the years I've realized, as I've seen the relationships of close friends fail time and again, that good, solid, long term relationships are not based on sex; in fact, it's those relationships that are heavily based on sex that usually don't wind up making it for very long. That's because that while sex is an important part of a relationship, in the end it's how you navigate the bad times that really define how strong your relationship is. Too many people are willing to bail when bad times happen because it's easy to fix with a legal procedure and piece of paper, and sex is readily available elsewhere. In fact, over time if your relationship is based heavily on sex the boredom factor alone tends to lead people to cheat or split up, because they have no other solid foundation. 


When I'm asked my mentor about how to stay married for a long time or even what the secret to a successful relationship is, I get response is this: Put off having sex with the person you've met for a month. If it lasts that long, then there's a good chance it'll succeed in the future, because you'll know that there are other things besides lust and hormones driving it. Guys lose interest after the conquest, so to speak, and many won't stick around without getting any va jay jay for a month. But at least you'll know why he left. Not saying your fucked up attitude, ugly bad ass kids or lack of patience didnt make this happen. 

Anyone who thinks sex is definitely important, will probably end up being divorced or have their relationship come to a end soon. Sex is a very pleasureful experience and is a good thing to have in a relationship. But if your looking for something to last a lifetime, than basing sex as a very important factor in your relationship is not good. Very few keep the sexual pace up through their marriage. Everyone hits lulls and sex does drop off in frequency as the years go by. So sex is something that is to be enjoyed between each other but should not be something that is extremely important. Relationships that are based on sex as a high priority, rarely last.

Love and sex are not the same thing; this is something some people never learn. Sex without love is just physical. Love without sex can be pure, spiritual and true. But sex with someone you love unequivocally, can be gentle and tender, hot and wild, comfortable or simply sublime.
And don't ever forget that the most important sexual organ is the brain. I will try my best to mentally fuck the dog shit out of you if the case is we cant have sex. BUT!!!! I know from experience (myself) not having sex will frustrate people especially when you already started. Is is easier for women to turn down sex? Hmmmm Chris Rock said it best "every woman in here, ever since you were young every guy you met has been trying to fuck you. That's right. Women are offered dick every day. Every woman in here … gets offered dick at least three times a week. Three times a day, shit! That's right, every time a man's being nice to you … all he's doing is offering dick. That's all it is. "Can I get that for you? – How about some dick?" "Could I help you with that? – Could I help you to some dick?" – "Do you need some dick?"
For more make sure you pick up my next book "Methods II My Madness: Women R Still Stupid & Men R the Reason" out in stores this winter


This has been another
Steven A Miami KONcept
3s up & 305 down

Pick up my first book before they are no longer available Women R Stupid & Men R the Reason




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